Courage
by Haawk
Summary: The bullying on Kurt has taken its toll. His voice. When he transfers to Dalton Academy Kurt is broken and lonely. Still he wants to avoid Blaine because of his inability to speak. Will he be successful, or will Blaine be persistent enough the help Kurt? You guys know the answer.
1. The Transfer

The Transfer

Kurt looked up at the impressive building in front of him. The old stone walls seemed to hold a promise. The promise of a fresh start. And Kurt needed a fresh start more than anyone else. The last year had been the most horrible of his life. Considering, that his mother ha passed away when he was just a small kid, that meant something.

„Come on, Kurt! Let´s go."

Kurt nodded, slowly withdrawing from his memory. His father picked up his bags and started walking towards the enormous front entrance.

The inside of the Dalton academy was no less intimidating than the outside. The ceilings were high, the wooden floor looked like he had seen thousands of students (which it probably had) and the old staircase opposite the entrance made the room look like the perfect setting for a movie.

Kurt and his father din`t know where to go. This place looked nothing like a school and there was nothing pointing out the principles office. They must have looked desperate, because a group of young boys stopped talking and walked over.

„Can we help you?" The tallest of the boys asked. Like his two friends he wore a blue jacket, which looked an awful lot like a school-uniform.

Kurt already knew from his former trip to the Dalton Academy that every pupil had to wear the uniform on school grounds. Normally, Kurt would have had a problem with this. What was a huge wardrobe filled with designer clothes good for, if you could not wear them? But honestly, Kurt had bigger problems right now. His father and stepmother had spent all their money on the tuition fort his school, thus giving up their honeymoon, to make sure, that Kurt was safe. If they could give up something like that, then he could do with a school uniform.

„Yeah, that would be great... We´re looking fort he principle´s office."

The tall boy gave Burt and Kurt a smile. „Sure, just come with me!" He excused himself from his friends and started to walk towards the long hallway. The principle´s office was not far and when they had reached their destination the boy said goodbye and walked away.

Kurt and his father stood in front of yet another big, wooden door. Burt knocked and a deep voice asked them to enter almost immediately.

„Mr. Hummel! Kurt! Welcome at Dalton Academy!" Principle Tyler stood behind a wooden desk. Come to think of it, everything in this school seemed to be made either of stone or wood.

Kurt was surprised. He did not know, what he had expected, but this principle seemed so different from Principle Figgins. Figgins had never supported Kurt but he still felt like he would miss the Indian accent. Tyler was not Indian, he had a strong American accent. And he was much taller than Figgins. And he looked confident. All in all he seemed to be the opposite of Kurt´s former principle. Mr. Tyler looked like he could actually protect Kurt.

Burt and his son took a seat. Kurt felt small in the big leather chair, Burt felt dumb sitting in this elite private school.

„Yeah, hi there!" Burt still seemed insecure in this surrounding.

„Kurt, my name is principle Tyler. I´m glad to welcome you as a new student to our school. Your father already mentioned, that you had to transfer because of a bullying situations and he has also filled me in on your current problems. I can assure you, that you are safe in this school and that you will be respected for who you are. I promise you won´t need to worry about being teased for anything here."

Kurt wanted to believe him. When he had met Blaine and his fellow Warblers during his spy-visit he had actually believed them, when they told him of the zero tolerance concept. He could believe, that he would not be threatened because he was openly gay. But now that he couldn´t even speak, he was scared. Who wouldn´t make fun of a gay kid, that did not manage to get out a single word? He was a hopeless case.

„Yeah, about that...", Burt started off. „As I told you, Kurt suffers from selective mutism. Physically he is able to speak. The problem is psychological. That is why he will need to see his psychotherapist twice a week."

„That is absolutely no problem, although I am afraid you will have to pick up Kurt yourself."

„Of course, we have already scheduled the sessions for Monday and Thursday evenings, so that should be no problem at all."

Burt and the principle kept on talking for quite some time, going over everything that needed to be taken care of. In the end they agreed, that Principle Tyler would inform the teachers about Kurt´s muism beforehead, so that Kurt wouldn´t have to discuss this in front of the class.

After almost half an hour the principle showed Kurt to his room. It was one of the few single bedrooms, which Kurt was very thankful for. He was afraid enough of people and honestly, he just wanted to be left in peace.

Sooner than he had thought, Burt and Kurt were alone in his new room. An awkward silence fell. Burt had never been good at goodbyes.

„Okay kiddo, I should get going. You sure you´ll be fine on your own?"

Kurt nodded. It looked a lot more assuring than Kurt actually felt.

„Okay, well it´s Sunday, I´ll be coming on Friday to pick you up for your first session."

Burt started to head off, but when he stood in the door he turned around once more and said: „I love you, Kurt, you know that, right?"

Kurt nodded and mouthed „I love you too, dad."

Then he stood alone in his new room.

Kurt´s remainding day had been uneventful. He had unpacked his bags and strolled through the school and the gardens. When the sun went down and more and more students were returning from their weekend at home, Kurt headed back to his room. He didn´t want to run into anyone, being afraid that other pupils might try to talk to him. He skipped dinner and read instead. He had started the Chess Story by Zweig this morning and managed ti finish it before getting to tired. When Kurt turned out the lights and went to bed, he could not find any sleep. He was so nervous about tomorrow, worrying about what the kids might say if they found out he didn´t speak. They would ask him why, wouldn´t they? And what was he supposed to tell them? I don´t now? I can speak but I can´t? That would sound ridiculous. I don´t want to? That would be so wrong. Kurt in fact wanted nothing more than talk. He wanted it so much, and he knew that he could. Physically. But when he tried to get a sound out, he failed every single time. He knew, that this had happened because of Karovsky. The doctors had explained this as simple as they could. Kurt was traumatized bet he bullying an the death threat and had developed a social anxiety disorder. He still wasn´t sure, whether the doctors were right. He could meet with people. He just didn´t like it. But for now Kurt just hoped, the doctors were right, because they had been assuring him, that his condition could be treated effectively.

And Kurt just wanted his voice back. Maybe he wouldn´t even mind not being able to talk that much, though it would certainly be hard. But he definitly could not live without singing.

He thought about speaking and singing, meeting people and his upcoming first therapy session, when he fell asleep.

When Kurt woke up in the middle of the night, he wished he hadn´t fallen asleep.

A nightmare had woken him up. Kurt had spent what had felt like ages dreaming about Blaine. Wasn´t that insane. Kurt barely knew this boy. He had run into him on his visit. Blaine had taken Kurt to the coir room, where he and the rest of the Warblers had performed. And Blaine was good, And sexy. And sort of charming. Kurt sometimes wondered, what would have happened, if he hadn´t snuck out shortly before the song had ended. BUt now that did not matter anymore. Kurt had not seen blaine again and he wanted it to stay that way. He had immediatly liked Blaine and in his dreams he had imagined how the two of them sang together. In his head he wouldn´t have taken off, but told Blaine that he himself was in a glee club too, that he was a counter tenor and that he was a good one. Thie night, when he dreamed of Blaine he stood next to the boy, trying to tell him, that he was a singer, but the boy just laughed at him, because no sound left his lips.

He still heard Blaine´s laugh, when he fell asleep again.

**This is my first glee fanfic, so please review.**

**I saw several stories on the idea of Kurt loosing his voice and really liked it, though I favor a scenario in which he will find his voice again. His voice is too beautiful to get lost.**


	2. The First Day

Kurt woke up early and couldn´t fall asleep again, though he did not feel rested at all. He was glad the night was over. Kurt started off to hit the shower, then lost himself in his moisturizing routine. He skipped breakfast because he was afraid of his new classmates. A few minutes before first period, he made his way towards his classroom. Principle Tyler had shown him the way yesterday.

His new history teacher was in the classroom already. When Kurt entered he looked up and motioned for Kurt to come to the front desk.

„Hi there, you must be Kurt. My name ist Mr. Rylan. I´m your history teacher."

Kurt nodded and shook the teacher´s outstretched hand. He seemed nice enough,

„principle Figgins told me you don´t speak. Ist hat correct?"

Kurt nodded again. What would the teacher think of him?

„Well, if you have any questions in class, just show up, and I will come to you and you can write your queston down. Does that sound alright to you?"

Kurt nodded. Again. He was relieved. His teacher didn´t seem to mind Kurt being mute.

„One last thing. Have you already met some of your new classmates?" When Kurt shook his head Mr. Rylan continued. „Do you want to inform them about your condition yourself or would you like me to make an announcement?"

To be honest, Kurt didn´t want any aof these options. He didn´t want them to know at all. He would´ve giving practically anything for that. But he knew his classmates wouldn´t take long to wonder why Kurt never answered questions. And because Kurt felt uncomfortable going to the front and writing it down, he asked his teacher to do it for him. He got out his little notebook and wrote down:

_Could you please tell them? But could you please stick to the essentials?_

Mr. Rylan nodded. „Of course Kurt!"

He then showed Kurt where he could sit. In the next minutes, the classroom filled. The boys were looking at Kurt and then talking quietly amongst themselves.

Kurt was starting to feel the urge to run away. Were they already making fun of him? They couldn´t possibly know anything about him by now, could they?

Just when two boys were coming up to him, Mr. Rylan started the lesson. They quickly hurried to their desks.

„Good morning everyone. As probably all of you have noticed by now, we have a new pupil. Please welcome Kurt to our class." When everyone had mumbled their hello, Mr. Rylan went on.

„Kurt has just transferred to our school. Uhm... „ Rylan looked lost. He obviously didn´t know how to tell everyone about Kurt´s inability to speak.

„Kurt has asked me to inform you, that he is mute. But as I already witnessed he is a quick writer, so you guys will have no problem with communicating, alright?"

Everyone was looking at Kurt and he began to blush. He just hoped no one noticed how he had started to sweat.

The silence in the room was uncomfortable. The guys didn´t know how to react. Some seemed pitiful, others just interested. But at least no one laughed or whispered about it. Kurt relaxed a little.

The class passed pretty quickly. Mr.. Rylan was a good teacher and Kurt listened carefully. When the bell rang most students made their way out of thee classroom, as quickly as they could. The two boys who had almost talked to him before class had started came up to Kurt though.

„Hi Kurt!" Kurt looked at them a little frightened.

„I`m Nick, this is Jeff. Welcome to Dalton! We were wondering, if you already know how to get to your next class, or if you would like us to show you."

Kurt needed a moment before he realized, the two guys were actually trying to help instead of calling him stupid names. Kurt reached for his notebook once.

_Hi, my name is Kurt. I have biology next and it would be really great, if you could show me _

„Sure, come on. Nick will be in that class with you." Jeff started to walk and Kurt hurried to follow him. Once they were in the hallway Jeff took Nicks hand. The two boys smiled at each other. Kurt couldn´t help but stare. These boys were a couple, and they weren´t even trying to hide it. The weirdest thing though was, that no one seemed to care. People went by without even lifting an eyebrow. Kurt wanted to ask them so much, but he couldn´t walk and write at the same time, damn it.

Once they had reached the classroom, Jeff kissed Nick and left for his own class. Kurt had the same conversation he had had with Mir Rylan with Mr. Eldrich and went to take a seat next to Nick.

I_´m sorry for being so blunt, but I just have to ask. Does no one here bully you for being gay?_

Nick read the paper and smiled at Kurt. „No, we have no bullying at this school. Principle Taler is really strict about that. f you don´t mind me asking, are you gay as well?"

Kurt nodded. „Well, you don´t have to be afraid here. No on is going to judge you!"

This was the best news Kurt could imagine. He was still scared of the new people all around him, but fort he first time he felt hopeful. Maybe things were eally going to get better.

Blaine couldn´t concentrate on the lesson. Jeff had just told him about that new kid named Kurt. Somehow that name rang a bell. Blaine just didn´t know why. He didn´t know any Kurts, did he? Anyway Jeff had convinced Blaine to have lunch with them and help showing Kurt around. Blaine wasn´t in the mood, but he wasn´t in the mood to do anything with anyone so he guessed it didn´t matter. Maybe this way he would be distracted. Maybe this time he wouldn´t have to think about Gary this much.

Why didn´t he love him? What had Blaine done wrong? He didn´t know, but he would find out. And then he would change and win over Gary. Yeah, that´s what he would do. Win over Gary, the love of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys. Thanks for your reviews. I hope I made less errors this time. I had a friend correct it. But as we are both german please excuse the remaining mistakes. I haven´t written anything in english in a long time.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

Kurt had managed to survive his first morning of school. The last period before lunchbreak was over and he hadn´t fled the classroom once. It was a start. Now Kurt was looking forward to get to his room, away from all the people. He had to admit to himself that he was hungry as hell, but the thought of all those people staring at him was almost unbearable. He would have to find a supermarket and store some energybars.

When his teacher had finished talking about how important photosynthesis was, Kurt started off to his room.

„Hey, where do you think you´re going?"

Kurt froze. Oh my god! Now some sort of jock´s got me. I can´t do this again, he thought.

Kurt turned around slowly, afraid of what he might see. Who would shove him this time? Or maybe they´d beat him up? When he had turned around he was startled. It was Nick, smiling at him. This didn´t make sense.

„It´s lunchtime. Come on, we´ll meet Jeff and Blaine in the cafeteria!"

Nick waited for Kurt to join him, but Kurt didn´t move.

„Kurt? Is something wrong?"

Kurt grabbed his notebook and started to write.

**I´m not hungry. I´ll just go to my room and start with the homework. I´l see you later!**

„No way, I won´t let you sit all by yourself starving to death"

And with that and a grin Nick took Kurts arm and literally dragged him away from his room, towards a room filled with people. Kurt started to sweat again, he was trying to control his breathing, but it didn´t seem to work.

Nick and Kurt entered the cafeteria and Kurt was sure that everyone was looking at him. But Nick just kept steering him towards a small table. Didn´t he notice how people stopped talking to look at Kurt?

„Hey you two. Blaine, may I introduce: This is Kurt. Kurt: This is Blaine."

Kurt stared at Blaine who had looked up. Gosh, Blaine´s face was beautiful. He looked even better than in Kurt´s dream.

„Hi Kurt, I´m Blaine. ... Wait, I know you from somewhere. ... You were here when we performed „Teenage Dream" weren´t you?" Blaine looked at Kurt expectantly.

Kurt blushed, he felt the urge to simply run away. Instead he managed a small nod.

„Nice to meet you again. Where did you vanish to the last time?"

Shoot. This wasn´t a yes or no question. Now he would have to write his answer down and then Blaine would laugh at him and turn away. Kurt had been in this situation before. Again and again. Almost every night since he had known, he´d be going to Dalton.

Kurt started to write though his hands were visibly shaking. He didn´t dare looking up. He didn´t want to see Blaine´s face.

Meanwhile Blaine looked at his friends. Jeff had mentioned that the new kid didn´t speak, but now that Blaine remembered Kurt... He had heard him speak. Why didn´t Kurt talk now?

Kurt had finished writing and handed his notebook to Blaine.

**I was just supposed to hear how good you are. My friend waited in her car to take me back.**

Of course, no one had waited for Kurt, he had gone to Dalton all by himself. But Kurt couldn´t tell Blaine the real reason now, could he. He couldn´t tell Blaine that his heart had started racing once he had heard the Warblers sing. Once he had heard Blaine sing. He couldn´t tell him, that he had wanted to be close to Blaine so much that he needed to get distance between the two of them. It was embarrassing enough as it was, but Blaine had hardly remembered him, while Kurt had spent his nights dreaming about him. And before he had lost his voice these dreams had not been nightmares. Now he seemed to be living one.

Kurt braced himself for Blaines reaction. He could already see a smirk forming on Blaines face.

Nick and Jeff on the other hand saw worry in Blaines eyes.

„But Kurt, I heard you speak then. What happened to you?"

Well this wasn´t a laugh, but it didn´t make Kurt feel much better either. He took back his notebook and started writing again.

**I really don´t want to talk about it!**

„Oh, okay, sure. But you should know that if you change your mind, we´ll be there for you, okay?"

Kurt nodded. This hadn´t been so bad. A lot better than in his dreams anyway. Nick and Kurt finally sat down as well. Jeff and Blaine had brought their food as well. They ate in silence until Jeff broke it.

„So Kurt, why did you want to hear how good the Warblers are?"

Kurt cursed himself silently. Now he would have to tell them, that he had been in Glee Club as well. Would they pity him even more for losing his voice. Or would they make fun of him?

**I was a member of New Directions. They will be your opponents.**

„You sing?" Blaine and Jeff stared at Nick. „Sorry, you sang?"

„Actually I remember you had a really high voice, didn´t you?" Blaine asked?

**I sang countertenor.**

„That´s amazing, Kurt. I wish I could have heard you sing!" To Kurt´s surprise Jeff seemed neither pitying nor teasing. Kurt knew he should trust his new friends. It was really hard, but he had to try.

**It doesn´t matter now. Are you all members of the Warblers?**

Jeff and Nick nodded and soon the guys were telling Kurt everything about the popular glee club. Kurt was so amazed by their stories, that he didn´t even notice all the other pupils anymore.

At 6 p.m. Jeff and Nick knocked at Blaine´s door.

„Hey Blaine, are you ready?"

„I´m coming! What´s for dinner?"

„Lasagna, so hurry up, before there´s nothing left anymore."

Nick was afraid of a food shortage. Like every evening. Nick and Blaine only grinned.

„We should go over to Kurt and ask him to come with us." Jeff said. „He did seem very shy, didn´t he? Almost afraid?"

„I´m telling you, something must have happened to him. I swear, six weeks ago he was talking. And his voice was beautiful." Blaine was still trying to figure out what could´ve happened to his new classmate.

„Well then let´s show him, that we´re his friends."

Nick had liked Kurt immediately. The handsome boy had something about him. Nick couldn´t quite pinpoint it.

This time Kurt didn´t need so much convincing to join them. At the dinner table a conversation started quickly. The boys had bonded over glee. They had just moved on to dessert, when Blaine sighed.

„Ok guys brainstorm. How do I proof my love to Gary?"

Kurt almost choked.

„You don´t need to proof your love, Blaine." Jeff answered. „Gary knows you love him, the problem is that he doesn´t care."

„You are not helping, Jeff." Blaine looked miserable.

**Who´s Gary?**

„He works at the cafe in town. He´s one year older than me, and he´s gorgeous."

Kurt wished, he hadn´t asked. For the remainder of their dinner Blaine kept talking about Gary. Gary´s eyes, Gary´s hair, Gary´s clothes, Gary´s everything.

When they were finished Blaine hurried back to his room to figure out his next move.

Kurt felt disappointed. He didn´t know why, because he barely knew that boy. But when Blaine had talked about Gary, Kurt had wished Blaine would talk talk about him like that. Jeff and Nick seemed to notice, something unsettled their new friend. They looked at each other and then smiled.

„Come on Kurt, movie night!"

If Kurt hadn´t been mute, he would´ve been speechless nonetheless. So he let the two guide him to Nick´s room.

It was late, when Kurt returned to his room. They had watched „Chicago" till Kurt had almost fallen asleep. Now, lying in his own bed, Kurt couldn´t help thinking, that the first day could have gone worse. Sure, Blaine was driving him crazy and he didn´t know why. But he felt like he had found some new friends.


	4. The First Session

**Hey guys, new chapter is up, I hope you enjoy it. Don´t forget to review **

**Special Thanks to ChrisColferCrowe for beta reading **

The First Session

Thursday came faster than Kurt would have liked. The last days had been similar to his first. He sat next to Nick or Jeff in classes he shared with either one of them. The two of them and Blaine took him to lunch then dinner, not accepting any excuses Kurt tried to make. They talked about their teachers, homework, fashion and movies and Kurt seemed to be able to relax a little bit. Only when Blaine mentioned Gary, Kurt had to be careful not to show his disappointment.

Apart from his three new friends Kurt still felt uncomfortable around other people. He was sure they stared at him, turning away only to laugh behind his back. Whenever he could, he would go to his room and lock the door. Only then did his heart stop racing. A few times he had to be sure he had heard Karofsky speak behind him, but when he had turned around it was someone else. Kurt knew his mind was playing tricks on him, he just didn´t know what to do.

But hopefully his therapist would.

Kurt was still thinking about how he could explain his absence this evening, when the bell rang and his last period ended. Together with Nick he left the classroom.

"Okay, well see you at dinner.", Nick said.

He stopped a moment when he saw, that Kurt was writing a response.

**I´m going to Lima this evening. I have a doctor´s appointment. I won´t be back in time for dinner. I´ll see you guys tomorrow.**

Nick read his message and shot Kurt a concerned look.

"Are you alright?"

**Yes, it´s just a checkup. No worries.**

"All right then. We´ll see you tomorrow."

Nick still looked a little concerned but headed off towards the library.

Kurt went to his room to get rid of his schoolbooks and then waited outside the school for his father to pick him up. He didn´t have to wait long, as Burt was on time. Kurt couldn´t help but wonder, if it was a good idea to let Burt drive. His father seemed even more nervous than Kurt was.

The drive was silent until Burt couldn´t bear it any longer. Not knowing what he should talk about as Kurt couldn´t answer, he started rambling about football. Kurt didn´t care for football but he was happy to see his father again and so he listened nonetheless. After what seemed like ages, Burt pulled up in front of a tall office building.

On the fourth floor a female assistent greeted them from behind a computer screen.

"Kurt Hummel?"

She must have had expected them. Burt confirmed before he and Kurt took a seat, waiting for his therapist. Just a few minutes later a man in his fourties asked the two to enter his small office. It looked nothing like Kurt had expected. He knew this was probably just a cliche, but he had expected a dark room with a large couch. Instead the room was light. The furniture consisted of a desk and three chairs.

Mr. Martin motioned for Kurt and Burt to take a seat. He introduced himself and asked if Kurt wanted Burt to stay. When Kurt nodded Mr. Martin opened Kurts file.

"Okay Kurt. In your file it says you have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and elective mutism. I think it´s best if I explain to you what we will be doing during our sessions, all right?"

Another nod from Kurt made Mr. Martin go on. "Social anxiety disorder is a term to describe fear of people. In general, anyway. It´s most frequent sympoms are blushing, sweating, high heart rate and in more extreme cases avoiding contact with people. This disorder can also correlate with elective mutism. Persons suffering from elective mutism find themselves unable to speak. Some people can´t speak at all, others can speak to certain people they trust or in situations where they feel comfortable in.

In our sessions we will work on both problems with a cognitive behavioral aproach, meaning that we will try to analyse your situation and develop coping strategies. You will see this once we get started."

Mr. Martin continued explaining symptoms and theories about elective mutism to Burt who had actually written down certain questions.

"If therapy is started as early as in your case, there is a very good chance of a treatment success."

Burt looked very relieved after this statement and was finally ready to leave the room so Kurt could start his therapy.

Burt had waited in the waiting area for almost an hour. When Kurt was finished they walked to the car in silence. Kurt seemed tired and Burt was dying to know how it all wen,t but he waited with his questions until they were at home.

Once they had arrived he made Kurt write down everything that had happened.

Kurt didn´t want to tell his father about the therapy session. When Mr. Martin had said they would talk and analyse his situation it hadn´t sounded that bad. But it had been horrible. The first minutes had been no problem. Kurt had written down his answers on how he was feeling, whether he liked his new school and whether he had already made new friends. But once the small talk was over Mr. Martin had started to ask more serious questions. He had wanted Kurt to start at the beginning. He had wanted to know everything that had led to Kurt's current situation.

Kurt had started to write down his story. Starting with his first day at McKinley. He had written about the slushies and the dumpsters tosses. He hadn´t felt comfortable writing about this. Remembering it how much it hurt. He then had become more specific. He had written about how Dave had bullied him, the names he had called him, how he had shoved him in the lockers again and again. When he had written about no one helping him, the first tears started to form in his eyes. He had tried to ignore them but then he couldn´t help it anymore. The next thing he had needed to write about was his first kiss. The kiss Dave Karofsky had stolen from him. Kurt had looked at his therapist with tears in his eyes, not able to hold them back any longer. The last thing he had wirtten was:

_**I can´t!**_

Mr. Martin had looked at him and Kurt had felt dissappointment. He wanted to be strong, instead he started to sob and shake. Mr. Martin hadn´t comforted him, but held out a hankerchief. He had taken the paper, read it and said in a gentle voice.

"Why don´t we leave it at that for today Kurt. This was already a huge step. You don´t need to talk about everything at once."

Kurt had been so relieved he had sobbed even more before he finally had managed to regain his composure. For the rest of the hour they had talked about which situation scared Kurt today.

Kurt didn´t want to tell his father how much he had cried so he left that part out.

Burt knew this had been hard for Kurt, but he was proud that Kurt went through with it.

Dinner was a nice change for Kurt. Carole and Finn talked a lot about a lot of things and for an hour Kurt felt safe.

When Burt dropped him off at Dalton Kurt was tired he could barely walk anymore. When he reached his dorm room, he fell asleep instantly.


	5. First Questions

First Questions

Friday had come and gone without anything happening. Kurt had spent his weekend at home, playing computer games with Finn, cooking with Carole and even watching football with his father. He felt relaxed and safe. Unfortunatly the weekend had passed too quickly.

Kurt was back at school on Monday and faced a new problem already. Today was his second day of therapy. Again he would have to explaine to Nick, Jeff and Blaine why he wouldn´t join them for dinner. Kurt had thought about this during the weekend and had come to the conlusion that he would have to tell them the truth. There was simply no way they wouldn´t ask questions when he vanished twice a week.

Kurt was nervous when the four of them walked towards the cafeteria.

Jeff and Blaine exchanged concerned looks. Kurt´s hands were shaking. He was even more nervous than normally.

When they had finished their lunch Kurt started to write in his notebook.

_**I have to tell you guys something. We still have half an hour till classes start again, could we go to my room?**_

His friends looked a little irritated but nodded and followed Kurt to his room.

_**Last Thursday I didn´t go to a doctor. I went to a therapist. Maybe you noticed that I am not very comfortable around most people. It´s called social anxiety disorder and this is also part of the reason why I can´t speak. So my dad is taking me to therapy twice a week. I just wanted you to know...**_

Nick, Jeff and Blaine read his message quietly.

„So, can you get your voice back?", Blaine asked.

_**If I´m lucky I might!**_

„That´s great." Blaine looked truly happy. „But, Kurt may I ask you, when this started and how?"

Kurt immediatly shook his head. He really didn´t want to talk about this. Not yet. Blaine looked a little disappointed but he didn´t push for an answer.

„Thank you for telling us, Kurt."

A weird silence fell once everything had been said. Blaine tried a change of topic.

„I was wondering. As all of us are here tomorrow evening, and Gary has made it perfectly clear that he doesn´t want to be serrenaded again, would you guys want to go get dinner in town?"

Kurt was completely startled. Blaine had serrenaded that guy. Why couldn´t he serrenade Kurt. He started to blush when he realized that he was actually feeling jealous. But then another thought crossed his mind. Gary hadn´t liked it and sent Blaine away. Now Blaine really looked like he had given up hope. Instead he wanted to have dinner with Kurt. Okay, Jeff and Nick were invited too, but it was a start. This thought made Kurt blush even more.

Nick and Jeff looked at each other.

„I´m sorry Blaine, we had sort of promised each other to go on a date that evening. But maybe Kurt has time?"

_**I would love to! **_

Kurt could hardly believe what he was writing. He was afraid of people, and now he agreed to go to a restaurant for dinner? He was crazy. That much was for sure.

Blaine smiled at him.

„Great, then I´ll pick you up tomorrow at 7 p.m."

Kurt didn´t get to ask where they would go anymore because they all nedded to go to their next class, but he was looking forward to it, no matter where they would go.

After school Kurt hurried to his father´s car. Burt talked the whole time until Kurt vanished into Dr. Martin´s office.

His second session was just as draining as the first one and Kurt still couldn´t tell his therapist about his first kiss and how involuntary it had been. Instead he answered the more general questions about his time at McKinley High. Writing about glee club and all it´s members made Kurt realize how much he missed them. Maybe he should text them? He missed Mercedes the most, maybe he would be okay to do something with her? He made a mental note to text her the next weekend.

When Dr. Martin realized that Kurt would not tell him about his last months at McKinley he dropped the topic and changed the subject all together.

„"What´s your favorite word, Kurt?"

Kurt lookek irritated. Was that a serious question? He had never thought about it.

„Don´t think about, just write down, what comes to your mind!"

_**Reciprocate**_

Dr. Martin lifted his eyebrow at the difficult word, but noddded.

„Good. For the next weeks I want you to imagine saying this word in different situations. For example when you enter a classroom, I want you to imagine, saying this word out loud. Before you go to bed, imagine this. Imagine it in as many different situations as possible, okay?

Kurt couldn´t really believe that this was supposed to be his task, but he nodded. He just hoped his therapist knew what he was doing.

Late that night, after a beautiful dinner, Kurt was back at Dalton Academy lying in his bed thinking about tomorrow. His day had been exhausting, but thinking of having dinner with Blaine made him go to sleep with a smile on his lips.

Blaine on the other hand was still worried. About Kurt. What he had found out this day had shellshocked him. He still wasn´t sure whether he should have googled Kurt, but he had been worried and he had wanted to know what had made Kurt so scared.

After their classes had finished and Kurt had left for his therapy session, Blaine had locked his door and started the google search for Kurt Hummel.

The first few entries didn´t reveal anything new. They were articles about Kurt as a member of New Directions.

The fifth article however suprised Blaine. It was an newspaper article covering the win of the Cheerios at Nationals.

What did the Cheerleading team have to do with Kurt?

Blaine scroled further down.

**... Kurt Hummel singing in french. ...**

Blaine hadn´t understood, but below the article a video had been posted.

It showed Coach Sylvester after her team´s win at Nationals. Right in the middle of the interview a boy ran through the picture. Coach Sylvester held him back. Blaine would have said that this guy was Kurt Hummel but it couldn´t be, because he was in a cheerleading uniform. And still, the interview revealed that Kurt was in fact a member of the famous Cheerios and that he had sung a 14 minute solo entirely in french.

Blaine had been impressed. Not only had Kurt been in glee club and had managed to survive as an openly gay pupil. He had also made it on the most succesfull cheerleading team ever.

Blaine looked at more of the search results. Most of them mentioned Kurt either as a member of New directions or as a member of the cheerios.

Blaine had almost given up hope on finding anything else, when he looked at a newspaper article saying:

**School bully tries to kill schoolmate**

**D. Karovsky, member of the McKinley High football team is waiting for his trial in the Lima Correctional Facility. Karovsky has been accused of trying to kill his schoolmate Kurt Hummel. His motive is unclear. Pupils of McKinley High however reported that D. Karovsky had bullied Hummel and other pupils repeatedly. While the police is trying to find out what let to the escalation in Karovky´s behavior, Pronciple Figgins must answer to why the school did not put a Stopp to the bullying.**

Blaine had read the short note again and again. He still couldn´t believe that someone had actually tried to kill Kurt. He didn´t know Kurt very well but he was sure that Kurt was a lovely person who would never try to hurt anyone. He couldn´t possibly have done anything to deserve this. Blaine hadn´t left his room fort he rest of the day. He didn´t know what to do with this new information. Should he tell Nick and Jeff? Kurt had made it very clear that he did not want them to know. But did Kurt know what was good for him? Maybe Blaine, Nick and Jeff could help. Blaine was surprised, that he felt so strongly about this matter. He was still thinking about a way to help Kurt when he fell asleep.


	6. First Date?

First Date?

Kurt had been nervous all day. In class all he could think about was his planned dinner with Blaine. For once he felt lucky he couldn´t speek. This way he didn´t have to worry about teachers asking him questions he couldn´t answer because he had been dreaming all day instead of paying attention. Kurt was pretty sure Nick had noticed his strange behavior, because he had a huge grin on ohis face the whole way from class to the cafeteria.

_**What is it with the grinning?**_

„Oh nothing."

Nick grinned even more.

„Are you looking forward to your dinner with Blaine?"

Kurt bit his lip. He would have to work harder on pretending he didn´t care, otherwise this dinner would become awkward.

_**Yes, it is nice to finally get out on an evening.**_

Nick didn´t believe that this was the reason Kurt was excited, but he didn´t push any further. Instead he took a seat next to Jeff and made a great effort to keep a conversation about the upcoming algebra test going. This task prooved difficult as both Kurt and Blaine stared at their pasta dreamingly. At some point Nick and Jeff coulnd´t help but giggle. It was so obvious that Kurt and Blaine were both very excited about their dinner, but neither one of them wanted the other to know. It reminded Jeff of his first date with Nick. They had gone to the cinema and afterwards to a nice little bar. The entire evening had been awkward and only weeks later, when they were regularly dating, had they admitted to each other how nervous they had been. It seemed like this was a crucial part of dating.

After their lunchbreak, everyone headed towards their classrooms. If someone had asked Kurt, which classes he had had that afternoon, Kurt would not have been able to answer.

When the bell finally rang, Kurt hurried to his room. He had only three hours left before Blaine would come to pick him up and Kurt still hadn´t decided on an outfit.

Three hours later Kurt had just finished his hair, when it knocked on his door.

Kurt felt how he blushed and his hands started to sweat. He needed a second until he found the courage to open the door. He didn´t regret it.

In front of him stood the most breathtaking man he had ever seen. His eyes were litterally shining and Kurt found himself mesmerized by Blaine´s smile.

„Hi Kurt!"

Blaine´s voice was low and quiet. Was he nervous? Kurt could hardly believe that.

He simply nodded a hello, stepped out of the door and closed it behind him. The two of them left for the restaurant quietly.

Blaine was more nervous than he had thought he could be. His brain was still trying to find a way to deal with his new information on Kurt. The easiest thing would be to just pretend like he had never found out in the first place. It would also be the safest, because Blaine didn´t know how Kurt would react if he found out Blaine had googled him. Blaine kept telling himself that this was the best course of action, still it felt wrong. Blaine wanted to talk to Kurt. He wanted to comfort him and tell him that he was safe. He wanted to tell him how brave he thought Kurt had been and that he would make sure that no one ever hurt him again. But that would end awfully. It would probably just make Kurt angry or scared and then Blaine would never get another chance of getting to know Kurt better.

By the time they entered the restaurant Blaine had decided on waiting. He would get to know Kurt better and then he could still tell Kurt how amazing he thought he was.

Kurt and Blaine ordered and looked at each other, both of them blushing.

„It´s nice to be out of Dalton for a change, isn´t it?"

Blaine had hoped for a better opening line, but nothing had come up.

_**Yes, it´s great you had that idea. So you said you serrenaded that guy?**_

_**And he didn´t like it? Tell me everything...**_

„Oh gosh, this is so emberrassing. You know that I liked Gary. A lot. But I´m really not good talking about my feelings. I´m much better with songs. So last week I decided I would tell him about my feelings with a song. In the evening I went to his house. And I just started to sing, you know. I really thought he would like it. But I hadn´t even finished when he came storming through the door. He was really angry, said that I couldn´t just come to his house and serranande him. He said I was lucky that his parents weren´t at home. They didn´t know about him being gay..."

Blaine looked miserable and Kurt felt the urge to slide over to him and hug him. Instead he gave him a reassuring smile and waited for Blaine to continue.

„I mean, he had told me that he was out. He said that he was proud of who he was and that he wasn´t hiding it from anybody. How was I supposed to know that this was a lie?"

_**You couldn´t have known. But I´m sure he will come to his senses. And then he´ll be all crazy for you.**_

„I don´t even think I want him to be anymore, Kurt. I admired him, because he seemed so strong and because he seemed honest. Now I know that he is just a liar. He is afraid of his parents, that´s why he has kept his secret. But he was also afraid of me, that´s why he has lied.

After he had shouted at me, he had just closed the door and the curtains. I still feel like such an idiot."

Kurt didn´t know what he felt. On the one hand he was so sorry for Blaine. No one deserved to be treated that way. Especially not if they were as georgous as Blaine. But then again Kurt felt happy and relieved. After Blaine´s story and the look on his face, Kurt was sure, that Blaine was not in love with Gary anymore.

_**You are not an idiot! You are a romantic who deserves better. What I wouldn´t give to be serrenaded.**_

Blaine felt relief washing over him as he read Kurt´s message. He had hoped his new friend would understand.

„So, I´ve told you a story, now it´s your turn. Tell me about your frinds. I mean from your old school. What are they like?"

For a brief moment Blaine thought he had crossed a line. Kurt looked scared and hurt and Blaine feared Kurt wouldn´t tell him anything, but then Kurt looked more and more determined and grabbed his pen.

_**You already know I was a member of New DIrections. My friends were in glee club, too. There is Mercedes, she ist he new Arethe Franklin. She´s got power and soul. We always go shopping together. I really don´t know what I would have done without her.**_

When Blaine had finished reading he handed the paper back to Kurt. Was there a tear in his eye?

_**Then there´s Finn. He ist he quarterback of our football team. Just a year ago he was still throwing people like me into dumpsters, but being in glee club really changed him. He is my step brother now.**_

Kurt kept writing aboout his old friends until dinner came and Blaine felt like he almost knew them. He was glad that Kurt was opening up to him. After dinner Kurt asked about Blaine´s past and that way they took turns with asking questions.

At the end of the day Blaine and Kurt were happy. Both of them knew, that their friendship had changed that evening, that they had become closer, they they trusted each other.

Blaine walked Kurt to his door just minutes before curfew.

„I really enjoyed this evening. Thank you for a lovely evening, Kurt. I, .. uhm, ... maybe we could do this again some time?"

Kurt beamed at this.

**I enjoyed it too. Any time! This was the best evening I had in a long time. Thank you Blaine!"**

Blaine still smiled when he reacehd his own room.

Kurt couldn´t fall asleep again. But this time it was the butterflies fault. Kurt only had to think about Blaine and they made a mess in his stomach. His brain was so occupied with the hazel eyes and the perfect hair, that it didn´t even have time to realize that Kurt had spent an entire evening in a public place without feeling scared or uncomfortable even once.

The last thought Kurt had before falling asleep and dreaming of Blaine was „reciprocate."

**So I really want to write the conversation about Karovsky between Blaine and Kurt soon, but I feel, like they should be closer friends before that happens. If you have an opinion, please review. Thank you.**


End file.
